Q1 By the Numbers
Even this magical trip has had its moments of stress, and that’s OK
I’ve spent most of the last decade focused on numbers and deadlines and performance metrics and most of the last three months trying to not be focused on those things. But out of the blue my Fitbit watch reminded me that it had longitudinal data from the trip and before. As we hit the one quarter mark of our intended year, I was curious if there was any insight there.
I’m not sure these are the right metrics, but they are the ones I’m going to use for the moment.
Mental Health
Metric: Garmin Stress Levels
7 day: 29
4 week: 33
1 year: 31
I'm not really sure how Garmin measures stress, but this one puzzled me until I reflected on it a little.
What we are doing is a very different source of stress and worry, but it is still stress and worry. That's ok. In fact, the. consistency of my stress levels I think says more about what my life was like at home.
Given total freedom here, I chose to spend much of my time "working" in one form or another. I no longer think that's just some hangover from "that's how I've always done it.” I am happiest when I feel like I am building or creating something.
What this adventure is bringing into focus for me is much more about the "how" of that. My spikes of stress are really all about not having given myself enough time to do each of the things that matter to me or when one commitment (a call or desire to write a blog) bats up against another (playing Euchre with the kids, or seeing something cool.)
I had too many things on my plate. They were wonderful and rich things, but this space has allowed me to say no with more ease to that which is non-core to my life. That is part of what I want to bring back with me.
Physical Health
Metric: Resting heart rate:
7 day: 51
14 day: 54
I year: 58
Over a year ago, my resting heart rate was above 60. Three years ago, it was mid to high 60s. I'm in better shape now than I was. Particularly given more time and flexibility to exercise, I have been doing it. Yoga most days and some kind of other exercise every day, makes me happier. That's not a shock, but it's real.
Unstructured Time
Metric: Unscheduled calendar hours
Almost every day on this trip, I have taken some time to plot the day, set my intentions, establish what would make the day a “success,” and note any hard commitments (tours, trains, meetings, etc.). As the trip goes on, the number of those hard commitments has gone down, and I am happier for it.
I still plot adventures and experiences in the places we visit, still have meetings with folks from home, and still have to get from place to place. But I’m trying to spend more time doing those things in a flow rather than at specific times. I know this is counter-intuitive to all of the productivity guides that tell you to live by your calendar, but I’m trying to focus not by time and deadline, but by completing tasks in an uninterrupted way, more like meditation.
In meditation, when a stray thought interrupts your breathing (your monkey brain intrudes), you make a note of it and move back to the breathing. I’m trying to do the same with my time – write down the things that need to get done, but don’t let them interrupt the flow of what I’m doing now.
When my life is overflowing with deadlines always on the edge of being missed, the "spare" moments of standing in line or sitting on the toilet or driving become opportunities to "catch up" and getting "done” is the goal. But done never comes. Even “inbox zero” is really vulnerable to the next proactive thing I should be seeking out.
When we were playing euchre the other day, I was hustling Ava through her deal - she was being silly and slow and dragging it out. Paul looked at me and said, "Dad, there's no hurry. Isn't the point of this? Just to enjoy it."
Little shit.
In between cities in Sicily, we ended up eating two sit down meals at restaurants. Sicilian restaurants are not to be hurried, so we were at each for a while.
Paul asked if he could listen to Audible I said no, he was in the company of humans and needed to be in that company. He responded that he was bored. I told him to make the conversation interesting to him.
He paused, then asked the table if they could have any superpower besides flying, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed what would they be? Then if you had to turn into one Amazonian animal, what would it be? If you could design a car, what would it be like?
This led to conversations about design, physics, life priorities, hunting, and more that lasted as all night.
And thats the "bring-back" for me.
These transitional moments are or can be an important part of a day. Not always-because it takes energy a connection - sometimes it's ok to just let people zone out. But mostly creating that space cat be an positive, not a nothing. that is about how I choose to approach it.
Curating my “Tribe”
Metrics: (connecting with healthy people in ways that feed me)
Number of meaningful conversations in a day/week,
Number of casual and friendly encounters
Number of compliments given or acts of service
One of the bizarre pieces of my time on the road has been simultaneously missing and not missing our friends at home and the daily interactions that we such a part of our (pre-COVID) lives.
We have been very fortunate that some of our close friends have been able to visit us. This blog has given us some sense of connection with the people who read it and have sent us notes, WhatsApp’s, texts, and e-mails. I have had a few calls and some regular meetings.
In many of the places we have been, we have stayed long enough to build some rapport (often linguistically limited, but still) with the people in nearby restaurants and coffee shops.
But I also haven’t missed many of the ways I was spending my limited social time - and I’ll have to figure out how to handle that. On the other hand, I have desperately missed some of my regular connections others, far more than I would have guessed based on the irregularity of those connections.
I don’t know what that’s going to look like when I get home, or even as this trip progresses, but it’s defiitely on my mind.
Adventures!
Metrics: Times per quarter we break out of the routine
They say a fish doesn’t know the water in which it swims, so this is probably an odd time to be reflecting on future adventures - given how much of our life right now is an adventure.
But being with my super-star wife and our increasingly enjoyable and interesting children doing things that force us not to be transactional has opened up different spaces in our relationships. We still have the transactional pieces of logistics, and school, and packing up, and preparing food and cleaning that come with us. But there is an added element of “what the heck is that building?” and “how does this connect to our earlier conversations about…”
